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Good jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
You stick with me and I will take you places!

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Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
It had a nosebleed.

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What happens when a cop gets into bed?
He becomes an undercover cop.

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“Your waffle iron isn’t working, dear!”
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“Please just stay away from my laptop grandma!!!”

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Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?
He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

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Daughter asks her mother, “Mum, how long have you been married to dad?”
“Ten years.”
“Oh, and how many do you still have left?”

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Cute Jokes
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See also:
Kids Jokes

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Last week’s Clairvoyants Associated meeting was cancelled for unpredictable reasons.

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A man dreams that he is a chicken. He walks around the farm and is quite happy pecking on some corn.
Suddenly he feels a big pressure in his stomach. He asks the other chickens what it could be and he is told that this is quite normal. He just has to push and out will come an egg. So he does that. But even though the egg is out, he still feels a strong pressure.
So he asks the other chickens and they say that he has to push some more; that sometimes, chickens lay more than one egg. So he keeps on pushing and laying one egg after the other.
Suddenly he feels the whole world shaking like in an earthquake. Out of the sky comes a booming voice of his wife:
“WТF! Wake up!!! You pooped all over the bed!!!”

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A guy is diving in the middle of the ocean. Suddenly he sees another diver, but without any equipment.
He wonders how he does that since he’s already dived quite deep. A minute later he sees he’s gone even deeper underwater.
He thinks, “Wow, that’s impressive”. He swims closer to the guy and writes him a message on his underwater writing board:
“How do you manage to dive without equipment for so long?”
The other diver writes back:
“I’m drowning you сrетin. Help me!”

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