Harry Potter Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Do you like Harry Potter?
Because I a-Dumbledore you!

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Harry Potter Jokes

Are you a Dementor?
You just took my breath away.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Severus Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’d never know which side he was on.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What do you call a postal carrier who can speak to packages?
A parcel tongue.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Harry Potter puns can Slytherin to any conversation.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?
Nobody nose.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?
Because he was cursing in class.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?
“Why so Sirius?”

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Harry Potter Jokes

How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?
With Dementos.

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Harry Potter Jokes

What do you call the entrance to a magical gym?
A dumbbell door.

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Harry Potter Jokes Fitness jokes

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light-hearted.
The fifth one was dead Sirius.

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Harry Potter Jokes

How much does it cost to watch Harry Potter play his favorite sport?
A quid each.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did the protons vote for Harry Potter to be president?
Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.

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Harry Potter Jokes

On a scale of one to 10, how obsessed with the Harry Potter Series am I?
Nine and three quarters.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking?
Because it was making him Moody.

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Harry Potter Jokes

I love Harry Potter, but after re-reading the chapter “The Deathday Party,” I realized something about Nearly Headless Nick.
He was a very poorly executed character.

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Harry Potter Jokes

A blind wizard walks into a bar, finds his way to a stool, and sits down.
He says rather loudly to the barkeep, “Hey, how would you like to hear a Hufflepuff joke?” The bar goes silent and the barkeep replies, “Sir, I will not lie to you. You are speaking to a Hufflepuff. The man behind you is an Auror from Hufflepuff, the woman to your right is a Hufflepuff dueling champion, and we all have our wands drawn. Do you really want to continue?” The blind wizard goes silent for a moment before curtly replying, “No I don’t. Not if I’m going to have to explain it three times.”

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Harry Potter Jokes

How does Harry Potter enter a room?
Through the Gryffin-door.

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Harry Potter Jokes

Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.

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Harry Potter Jokes

” Harry, your godfather is dead.”
“Are you serious?!?” “Yep. Dead Sirius.”

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Harry Potter Jokes