Horse jokes

Newest jokes in this category

A man comes into a bar...
Or was it a horse?
Yeah i think it was a horse.
So a man comes into a horse....

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Horse jokes

What's worse than beating a dead horse?
Shooting a live gorilla

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Horse jokes

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?
In a stable environment.
Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

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Horse jokes

Which horse runs the city?
The mare, of course

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Horse jokes

I named my horse Mayo
Sometimes Mayo neighs

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Horse jokes

It just occurred to me that we have to make all the jokes about Sarah Jessica Parker while she's still alive..
Because after she dies it'll be like beating a dead horse...

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Horse jokes

A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
"Why the long face?"
The horse says,
"I just realized that I'm a metaphysical concept within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence."

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Horse jokes

I helped Jack off a horse.
Jack seriously needs to learn how to climb down a horse by himself.

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Horse jokes

A man goes in to talk to his psychologist.
A man says to his psychologist, "I keep dreaming that I'm a sadistic, necrophiliac zоорhilе. Should I be worried, or am I just beating a dead horse?"

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Horse jokes

A horse walks into a church...
Priest says, 'Why the long face?'
Horse replies, 'Evolution'.

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Horse jokes

That has got to be the worst painting of a wagon I have ever seen
"It's a horse-drawn carriage", replied the artist.

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Horse jokes

A horse moved next door to me yesterday.
I heard that they make good neighbors.

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Horse jokes

So the Lone Ranger and Тоnто are being chased by the bad guys...
To see if they're being closed in on Тоnто puts his ear to the ground to listen for the sound of horse hooves.
"Kimosabe, no soldiers chasing us, buffalo come."
"How do you know that?"
"Ear sticky."

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Horse jokes

Why didn’t the horse go to the bar on singles night?
He was already in a stable relationship.

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Horse jokes

The Melbourne Cup horse race is on again this coming Tuesday.
I really hope the big goofy orange horse doesn't win.

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Horse jokes

A doctor asks a horse, "Why the long face?"
The horse says,
"My alcoholism is destroying my family."

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Horse jokes

Proof-reading is vital - for example, you might accodentally type "I helped my uncle Jack off his horse."
When really, all you did was sit and watch.

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Horse jokes

Why do boars who make horse sounds live near eachother?
Because they are neigh-boars.

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Horse jokes

How do you properly discount a jiraffe?
You get off your high horse.

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Horse jokes

I went to pick up the bag of horse hair I had ordered
Shopkeeper: we are out of horse hair but I do have this nice bag of prevaricating goose feathers
Me: I ordered horse hair. I am *not* taking this lying down!

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Horse jokes