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Lawyer Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Mathematician, Physicist and a Lawyer are asked what 1+1 is eaqual to.
Mathematician: Well it depends in which numeral system it is.
Physicist: Depends if it is scalar or a vector.
Lawyer: Well and what do you want it to be?

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Lawyer Jokes

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his Company for embezzlement of many millions.
At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him:
„Don’t Worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he Didn’t have a penny anymore.

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Lawyer Jokes Good jokes

What should a proper lawyer wear to a court?
A good law suit.

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Lawyer Jokes Good jokes

What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits!

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Lawyer Jokes

I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar.

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Lawyer Jokes Attitude Jokes

My Lawyer said to me
“I have some good news and I have some bad news”?
“I’ve had an awful day, let’s hear the good news first”? I said
My lawyer said: “Your wife invested $5,000 in 2 pictures today that she figured were worth a minimum of $5 million”!!!!
“Well done, very good news indeed! You’ve just made my day - now what’s the bad news”?? I replied enthusiastically
“The pictures are of you sсrеwing your secretary” he said

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News and Politics Jokes Cheating Jokes Lawyer Jokes Secretary Jokes

Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

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Lawyer Jokes Sarcasm Jokes

What's a lawyer's favorite drink?
Subpoena colada.

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Lawyer Jokes Corny Jokes

A politician asked a well known author, "Did you know that 'Sumac' and 'Sugar' are the only two words in English, that begin with the letters 'Su' but are pronounced like 'Shu'?"
The author replied, "Sure."

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