School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time. She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.”
While reading the doctor's diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago. The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly веnт over from old age, and says, “Hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asks, “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did,” the doctor answered.
She asks, “Class of 49?”
“Yes, I was,” was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said, “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded, “What did you teach?”

0 0

Ray and his wife are at Ray’s ten year high school class reunion. They are standing around, sharing drinks. Ray bumps into his old buddy Mike and they are reminiscing, laughing and playing “catch up” on things that have transpired over the last decade. …
…
Suddenly, Mike points at someone and says, “Hey, Ray! Isn’t that Hortense over there?” …
…
Ray looks in that direction and replies, “Uh I don’t know. She looks perfectly relaxed to me.”

0 0

School Jokes Masturbation jokes

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.
Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
"It’s the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner’s ready."

0 0

School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

What do you call a gаy asian?
Chu Mai Wang
What is the point of jewish football?
To get the quarterback.
What do you call an asian guy wearing ancient armor?
A сhinк in the armor.
Where do jewish kids with ADD go?
Concentration camps.
How do you know if a black person has been on your computer?
It’s gone.
Why did the black kid fail night school?
The teacher kept marking him absent.
Why aren’t there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?
There’s a Target on every corner.
What do asian men do when they have erections?
They vote.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Ravi: How does your family all use just one car?
Bhanu: It's simple. My wife uses it for shopping and to run errands, my son uses it for school, and I use it to go to the gas station to fill-up again.

0 0

School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

In school we were taught that Hannibal crossed the Alps with elephants. However, none of the offspring survived.

0 0

School Jokes Animal Jokes

I was tucking my son in last night, and he tells me that he hates his teacher. She's 'an idiот' and she's 'out to get him,' which is the last thing you want to hear when your kid's home schooled.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes

Teacher: When does three come before two?
Student: In the dictionary!

0 0

School Jokes

My sister used to wake me up late at night, tell me it was time for school. Did that every night -- drove me nuts. Of course, it was always a relief to find out it wasn't time for school, but then I had to walk back home.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes

A first grade teacher collected old, well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Here are the results:
* Better be safe than ... Punch a 5th Grader.
* It's always darkest before ... Daylight saving time.
* You can lead a horse to water, but ... How?
* You can't teach an old dog ... Math.
* Love all, trust ... Me.
* The pen is mightier than the ... Pigs.
* You get out of something what you ... See pictured on the box.
* When the blind leadeth the blind ... Get out of the way.
* There is no fool like ... Aunt Eddie.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

“What are you learning at school now, Sue? Asked her Granny.
“French, German, and we’ve just started Algebra.”
“Really?” said the old lady, impressed. “I used to learn French and German but
I have never heard anyone speak Algebra.”

0 0

School Jokes Old People Jokes

Teacher: You are suppose to come at 7am!
Student: What?! What happened on 7am? What did I miss?

0 0

School Jokes

The teacher walks in and finds an apple on her desk with the letters “ILU” written on it. The teacher asks who left it. A little white girl raises her hand. Well sweetie, what does “ILU” mean? The little girl replies, “I love you.” The teacher says, “Isn’t that sweet,” and continues with class.
The next day the teacher finds a banana on her desk with the letters “YAS” written on it. The teacher asks who left and what does it mean. A little white boy raises his hand and says, “It means, You are special.”
“Thank you sweetheart”, the teacher says.
The following day, the teacher walks in to find a watermelon with the letters “FUСК” written on it. The enraged teacher asks who left it and if they know what that means. A little black girl raises her hand and cheerfully says, “Yes maam, I left it. It means, from us colored kids!”.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes

Teacher: where is your homework?
Kid: at home.
Teacher: why is it at home?
Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason.
Teacher: are you being smart with me!
Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.
Teacher:...

0 0

Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes

A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?"
One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when Called upon said,
"Professor you're 44.."
The Professor said,
"You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?"
The student said,
"You see professor, I have a brother; he's 22, and he's only half crazy."

0 0

School Jokes

It was the firs day of school, and the first grade teacher decided to see how much her students knew about math.
“Steven, can you tell me what is 3 and 2?” Steven said, “That’s when you should watch very, very carefully before you swing at the next pitch.”

0 0

School Jokes Math Jokes

Little Emily went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because ‘you’re very good at them’.
Mum said, “You should say “No” cos they only want to look at your knickers.”
Emily said, “Oh I know they do. That’s why I hide them in my bag”!

0 0

School Jokes Stupid Jokes

How school works:
In class: 2+2=4.
Homework: 2+4+2=8.
Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Sun’s mass.

0 0

Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Friendship Jokes

Apparently a Prep School in Ascot is requiring every under 12 student to buy an iPad instead of using textbooks.
That’s nothing.
In China they’re requiring every under 5 student to MAKE an iPad instead of using textbooks.

0 0

School Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes

Isn’t it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers? …
…
It’s sтuрid. You don’t hear medical students calling themselves doctors or history students calling themselves baristas.

0 0

School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes