Sex Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.
Her: You just want to have sеx with me.
Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.

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Sex Jokes

A distressed but attractive woman is at the edge of a cliff, trying to get up the nerve to jump. A passing hobo stops and asks; "Since you're about to кill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sеx first?"
The woman replies; "Get away from me, you sicko!"
As the вuм turns to leave he says,
"Okay, I'll just go wait for you at the bottom."

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

I haven’t had sеx for about 1 year, 4 months, 24 days and 56 minutes.
It doesn’t bother me though.

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Sex Jokes

Did a physical and mental work out today…
Masturbated without роrn.

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Office and Work Jokes Sex Jokes

“Wi-Fi laptops can damage your sреrм”.
In my experience, not as much as sреrм can damage your Wi-Fi laptop.

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Sex Jokes

Just saw this joke posted-
Any woman who thinks that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach may be aiming a bit too low!
- ---------
Personally, I think they may be aiming a bit too high.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes

I watched my first роrnо the other day.
I looked so much younger back then.

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Sex Jokes

A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, тiтs like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail.
“What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?” she breathed.
“I’d say ‘neither am I’.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Really? I’m wearing none because it gives men like you…” she licked her lips, “easy access…”
“Oh?” I replied. “I’ve got none on because I shat myself in the gents.”

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Boob Jokes

Girls love surprises.
Girls love sеx.
So why is it that when both are combined they don’t love it nearly quite as much?

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Sex Jokes Criminal Jokes

Me and my girl have a new sеx position we do called sushi. She just lays there and I spray her with soy sauce.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

I always keep my shoes and socks on during sеx.
There’s quite cold draft somewhere under my computer desk.

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Sex Jokes

Sеxuаl inтеrсоursе:
It’s just wanking that’s got out of hand.

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Sex Jokes

For me golf is a lot like women; if she isn’t holding my wood, she should be holding an iron.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

You can tell the sеx of an ant by dropping it into a glass of water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant

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Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

A Boy was sсrеwing a girl on a Railway track
The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it
He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants
The driver shouts out to the boy “Do u realize that if I had not seen u, this would have been ur last fcuk
Boy ‘Listen dude, u were coming. She was cuming. and I was cuming. then I realised only you had Brakes..

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Sex Jokes

I saw a sign outside the Greengrocers saying, ‘Cucumbers, (loose) 75p’.
Cool… I think I’ll get one for the missus since they’ve got her size.

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Sex Jokes

Three women were sitting around talking about their sеx lives.
The first said, “I think my husband’s like a championship golfer. He’s spent the last ten years perfecting his sтrоке.”
The second woman said, “My husband’s like the winner of the Indy 500. Every time we get into bed he is good for several hundred exciting laps.”
The third woman was silent until she was asked, “Tell us about your husband.”
She thought for a moment and said, “My husband’s like an Olympic gold-medal-winning quarter-miler.”
“How so?”
“He’s got his time down to under 40 seconds.”

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

F or me, penises are a hobby … kinda like fishing …
The small ones you throw back. The good-sized ones you take home for dinner, and The big ones you mount.”

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Sex Jokes

There’s a big difference between a boy or a girl saying;
“I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted”

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Sex Jokes

I read a story in the newspaper the other day about a father who paid his daughter for sеx. I was absolutely disgusted.
What kind of daughter charges her own father?

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Sex Jokes