Sex Jokes

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A young couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning’s relief, and neglected to notice that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her nакеd and still stuck, with a particular part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his shoes, over his wife’s exposed privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented, “Well, I think I can save your wife, buddy, but her lover’s a goner.”
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A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm. At the end of the summer the farmer says, “Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you.”
The college guy says, “Right on, thanks a lot man.”
So the farmer says, “Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn’ going on.”
College guy “Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine.”
Farmer “There is also going to be a lot of fightn’ so I hope you are ready.”
College guy “I have been working hard
All summer and I think I am in pretty good shape.”
Farmer says, “Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sеx?”
College guy “Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?”
Farmer says, “I don’t care it’s just going to be me and you.”
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