Sex Jokes - Page 70

Two sperms are racing to reach the ovule. After a minute, one asks the other, "Hey, how much longer until we reach the ovaries?" The other answers, "Keep swimming, fool! We haven't even passed the tonsils yet!"

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Sex Jokes

How did воовs got their name?
From the top view it looks like a B, the front view looks like oo, and the side view looks like a b.

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Sex Jokes

Worried about their less than exciting sеx life, a young wife sends her husband to a therapist who winds up treating him with self-hypnosis. To her joy, everything gets much better. However, she can't help but notice that each night, just before their lоvемакing, the husband dashes out to the bathroom for several minutes. This torments her until finally, one night, she follows him. There, in front of the mirror, she finds him applying this therapeutic technique, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife.”

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Sex Jokes

Three boys were discussing their fathers' favorite foods. The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. The second boy said his father loves KFC. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. The other two boys questioned how his father does that. The third boy replied, "Every night I hear my daddy tell mommy to turn off the light so he can eat it."

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Sex Jokes

A representative for a соndом company is on her way to a convention. While rushing through the airport, she drops the briefcase carrying her samples of condoms all over the floor. As she is stuffing all the condoms back into her briefcase, she notices tourists giving her crazy looks. "It's ok, she says,
"I am doing a huge convention."

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Sex Jokes

I hate auto correct; accidentally sent my grandmother a text saying "sеx tomorrow?" I meant today...

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fuскing hub cap off."

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about sеx. The brown headed one said i'm gonna have 3 baby's. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had sеx doggy style!

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

My friend came up to me at work looking depressed. I asked him what was wrong. He said,
"I think I had sеx with my third cousin." I replied, "If you're that worried about it, quit counting them!"

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Office and Work Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes

So, a kid happens to see his mom nакеd and asks, pointing to her vаginа, "What is that?" The mom replies,
"That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad nакеd and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sеx. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

A chicken and an egg are having sеx. The chicken rolls off the egg and says,
"I guess that answers that question."

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Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

When you are married, nobody asks about your sеx life. They know that you don't have one!

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Marriage and Family Jokes Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes

Three old women were sitting on a park bench. A flasher ran up and whipped open his coat. Two of the old ladies had a sтrоке and the third couldn't reach.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

I'm in trouble with my next door neighbors. I went over to their house recently to jump on there tramperleen. I had just got on when I heard a voice say, "Hey you, get off my daughter Erleen!"

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Sex Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Their is a guy at the bar, and he sees this hot chick at a table and goes up to her and orders drinks for themselves. After a few drinks, the girl and guy head back to the guys place.
After the two are done making out, they girl gets completely undressed immediately. The guy however, takes off his shirt, washes his hands, takes off his pants and washes his hands, takes off his shoes and socks and washes his hands.
The girl then says "You must be a dentist" The guy reply's "Well, yeah I actually am a dentist, how did you know?" The girl then reply's "You wash you hands after every time you take your cloths off". They then have sеx and after they are all done, the girl then says "You must be a really good dentist". The guy bragging then says "Well, yeah I guess I am a really good dentist, how did you know?" Then the girl says "I didn't feel a thing".

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

A man walks into a pub and asks for 12 shots of vоdка. The barman says,
"Wow, 12. Are you celebrating?" The man replies,
"I've just experienced my first вlоw job." The barman says,
"That's brilliant. Let me get you another one on the house." The man replies,
"No, that's okay. If the twelfth one doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will."

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Sex Jokes

Seven year old Lebron was in English class, when his teacher asked him to use dictate in a sentence. So he says, "Lass night I heard Daddy askin' Momma, 'how do my dictate?'"

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Sex Jokes

Sеx is like snow: you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

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Sex Jokes

One day, little Suzie and her mom are walking down a beach when they see a couple having sеx. Little Suzie asks her mother, "What are they doing?" And her mother replies,
"They're baking a cake" so that she doesn't have to explain sеx to little Suzie.
Later that day, after mom has tucked little Suzie into bed, little Suzie's dad comes home. Mom and dad decide to have sеx on the couch.
The next morning, little Suzie goes up to mom and asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Mom replies,
"Yes we were, Suzie. How did you know?"
Suzie replies,
"Cause I saw some icing on the couch."

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Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Three guys survive a plane crash in the desert. They wander for days, starving and thirsty. They finally come across a lone house and knock on the door, desperate for help. A crusty old lady answers, and says she'd be happy to help if one of them will agree to satisfy her sexually first. After a quick discussion, one of the guys decides to take one for the team. He walks in to her bedroom while the other two wait outside the house. He tells her to close her eyes and open her legs. He quickly runs to the kitchen and grabs the first реnis-shaped thing he can find, an ear of corn. He shoves it in her, and throws it out the window. Grabs another, rams it in and throws it out the window. She is finally satisfied and agrees to cook for them. He goes outside to get his friends, and they exclaim, "We're actually not hungry anymore. We just ate some delicious, buttery corn on the cob!"

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Sex Jokes Friendship Jokes