Sexist Jokes

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In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I’m afraid I am the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces, “The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, semi-risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a few minutes, someone asked, “Well, how much does a brain cost?” The doctor quickly responded, “$50,000 for a male brain, and $2,000 for a female brain.”
The moment turned awkward. The men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, “Why is the male brain so much more than the female brain?”
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and then replied to the entire group, “It’s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they’ve been used.”
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We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:
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1. Chests are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
11. If you think you are fат, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
12. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
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