Sexist Jokes

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A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro Graham saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early ?
What’s wrong ?’‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.‘Where ?’, he asked.‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied. He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your feet were too far apart.’
Her golf pro Graham saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, ‘Why are you back in so early ?
‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.
‘Where ?’, he asked.
‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, ‘Then your feet were too far apart.’
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Bill’s wife goes out to buy a car.
The salesman says, I recommend this one.
She asks why.
The salesman says, “Because it has hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.”
He drives the car 100 miles and hour toward a brick wall, and when he’s 60 feet away he jams on the brakes. They stop a foot from the wall.
The salesman says, “Do you smell that?”
She takes a sniff and says, “Uh-huh.”
The salesman says proudly, “That’s hydraulic backspin brakes.”
That night when Bill gets home, his wife says, “Dear, I bought a car.”
Bill asks, “How did you decide which kind to buy?”
She says, “I bought one with hydraulic backspin brakes. Get in and I’ll show you.
They get in, and she drives 100 miles an hour toward the same brick wall. When they are 60 feet away from it, she jams on the brakes, and they stop one foot from the wall.
She looks over at her husband and says. “Do you smell that?”
“Fсuкing smell it !”Bill says, “I ought to! I’m fсuкing sitting in it.”
Sexist Jokes
There are three guys enjoying a relaxing day of fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting them each one wish.
Now one of the guys just doesn’t believe it and says, “O. K., if you can really grant wishes, then double my I. Q.
The mermaid says, “Done!”
Suddenly the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, “Triple my I. Q.”
And the mermaid replies, “Done!”
The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping scientists in various fields. The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid, “Quintuple my I. Q.”
The mermaid looks at him and says, “You know, I normally don’t try to change other people’s minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you would reconsider.
The guy replies, “No, I want to increase my I. Q. times five and if you don’t do it, I won’t set you free.”
“Please,” says the mermaid, “You don’t know what your asking…it’ll change your entire view of the universe…won’t you ask for something else.. A million dollars, anything?”
But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I. Q. increased by five times it’s usual power.
So the mermaid sighed and said, “Done!”
And with that, he became a woman!
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A Вееr is always wet, a woman is not….1 point for вееr!
Beer is horrible, when it is hot….1 point for women!
A cold вееr satisfies you….1 point for вееr!
For a вееr, you pay taxes….1 point for women!
If you drink a second вееr, the first one doesn’t get angry….1 point for вееr!
You can always be sure that, you are the first one Opening a вееr….1 point for вееr!
If you shake a вееr, after a while it calms down by itself….1 point for вееr!
You know exactly how much a вееr costs….1 point for вееr!
A вееr does not have a mother….1 point for вееr!
A Вееr won’t ask you to hug her for half an hour after having it….1 point for вееr!
So the Score is……Вееr beats women 8 to 2
If you’re a guy, enjoy this message.. If you are a woman reading this and getting angry, know that a вееr would never get angry……1 point for beer
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