Sexist Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I rang my boss this morning and said, “Sorry I’m going to be late, we’re struggling to get the car off the drive.”
“Is it snowing?” He asked.
I said, “No, the wife’s driving.”

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Sexist Jokes

I saw this girl crying in a pub, so I went up to her and asked what was wrong.
“I split up with my boyfriend, because he’s a sexist pig.”
“I’m a great listener, if you want to tell me more,” I replied.
“You don’t even know me,” she cried, “why would you want to listen to me?”
“Because you have massive тiтs.”

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Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

Girl comes into the pub with half her тiтs showing, I look at them, I’m the pervert…
I walk into the pub with half my соск showing…Girl looks at it…I’m still the pervert!?

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Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea:
“Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, didn’t she come over?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook….”

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

The wife wants to see that new film about women’s rights.
I’ve said she can’t.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

I just had some chick come up to me and ask, “Why do guys make more money an hour to do the exact same job?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why”, I said. “Because in the unlikely event that we’re both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some sсrеwеd-up reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay.”

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Money jokes Kids Jokes Sexist Jokes

My wife said, “I’m bored, can we try a new position?”
“No,” I replied. “You’re staying in the passenger seat where you fuскing belong.”

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Sexist Jokes

I had my first driving lesson today.
Stalled seventeen times, had two minor accidents and knocked over a school boy.
And then she let me have a go.

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School Jokes Sexist Jokes

“Is it in yet?”
“Nope”
“How about now?”
“Not even close”
“Is it in now?”
“No”
“Is it close?”
“Not at all”
“How do you do this?”
“For fuск sake Candy, get out the car and let me park it.

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Sexist Jokes

I’m not saying my wife’s driving is bad…
But to cash in on it, I’ve opened up a florist.

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Sexist Jokes

I was walking down the road when I saw a woman holding a placard that read;
“Women are not just sеxuаl objects - Honk if you agree!”
So I squeezed one of her тiтs and said, “Honk.”

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

I love to pamper my girlfriend after she’s had a stressful day at work.
I get her to text me when she’s leaving so I can get the hot tap running, swirl around the foam and bubbles and time everything perfectly so that, the moment she walks through the door, the dishes are piled up and waiting for her.

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Office and Work Jokes Sexist Jokes

I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way.
Through the driver’s door.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

We had a woman pilot one year when we went to Majorca.
We were delayed for 8 hours.
Turns out the previous pilot had left the hand brake on too tight.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

We over heard our neighbors arguing last night…
“A real man respects a woman” she cried.
“Oh yeah” he shouted, “Well a real woman makes a respectable sandwich.”
I just looked at my wife and nodded… that’s when we started arguing.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

A boy asked his dad, "What's the difference between a woman and a slаvе?" His father replies,
"I don't know, what?" His son says,
"No, I was asking a question."

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Jokes about Women Dad Jokes Sexist Jokes

There were three women walking on a beach and they find a bottle laying in the sand they rub it and a genie pops out. The genie says ill give you all 1 wish. The first women thinks and says I wish I was the smartest women in the world. The genie say рооf ok wish granted your the smartest women in the world. The next women says I want to be ten times smarter than the smartest women in the world. The genie says рооf wish granted. The next women thinks then says I wish I was one-hundred times smarter than the women ten times smarter than the smartest women in the world. The genis says рооf and makes her a man.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

“Two heads are better than one” - undeniable proof that men, are indeed, the superior sеx.

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Men jokes Sex Jokes Sexist Jokes

Opinions are like diскs, only men should have them.

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Men jokes Sexist Jokes

My girlfriend said I don’t pay her enough attention.
It’s not my fault she’s wears clothes around the house.

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Sexist Jokes