Sports Jokes - Page 33

Q: Why don't blind people skydive?
A: It scares the сrар out of their seeing-eye dogs.

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Jоск Воотy Call... Soccer:
Hey ваве, soccer players can go for 90 minutes. High five!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Dribble:
I'd like to dribble on your field. Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Skills:
I hear you have good ball handling skills. Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Mouth:
I would like to approach your goalmouth. Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Poke:
How would you feel about a toe poke? Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Kick:
Want to see my banana kick? Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Passing:
Come on, I'm getting tired of passing to myself. Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Send:
Are you gonna let me send it through? Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Header:
First I'll do a header, then you do one. Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

Soccer Воотy Call... Attacker:
Can I bring a third attacker along? Goooaaalll!

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Sports Jokes Dirty jokes

An elderly woman comes home and finds her daughter in bed with a viвrатоr. She screams at her, "What are you doing?"
The daughter says, "Mom, I'm 40 years old, I'm not married and I don't have a date. Give me a break!"
The mother shakes her head and leaves.
The next day, the father walks in on the daughter and finds the same thing. He screams, "What's going on here?"
The daughter says the same thing to him, he shakes his head and leaves.
That night, the mother comes into the kitchen and finds the father sitting at the table, a вееr in one hand and the viвrатоr in the other. She says, "What on earth are you doing with that?"
The father sits back and replies, "Hey, leave me alone, can't a guy have a вееr with his son-in-law?"

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Sports Jokes Beer Jokes

A southern girl returned home after a summer with her grandparents in Ohio. Her friends asked her what she learned on her trip. "Well, they have these men up there who like other men."
"Ooh. What are they called?"
"They call them gаy."
"What else did you learn?"
"Well, they have these women who like other women."
"Ooh. What are they called?"
"They call them lеsвiаns."
"Did you learn anything else?"
"Yes. They have these men who liск women in their most private parts."
"Ooh. What do they call them?"
"I don't know, but when he was done, I called him 'Precious.'"

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Sports Jokes Military Jokes

Did you hear the new penalty for speeding in Illinois?
On the first offense, they give you Bears tickets; on the second offense, they make you use them.

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Sports Jokes

One day Bob and Bubba went fishing.
They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!'' But Bubba said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?'' They thought and thought and finally Bob said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!'' But Bubba said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''

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Sports Jokes

Once there was a sреrм named Stanley. When all the other sреrм were just swimming around, Stanley was doing sprints and lifting weights. One day, a sреrм asked him why he was always exercising.
"You see," said Stanley, "when the time comes, I'm gonna be first, you'll see." The other sреrм did not believe him. But one day, they were called to action, and all started swimming. All of a sudden, Stanley turned and went in the other direction.
"Don't do it, boys! It's a ВLОWJОВ!"

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Sports Jokes Sex Jokes

Q: What do you get when you have a basement full of Michigan State fans?
A: A whine cellar.

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Sports Jokes

A woman at a golf course begins yelling, ''I've been stung by a bee!
'' Her golf instructor asks her where she had been stung. ''Between the first and second hole,'' she replies. The golf instructor tells her, ''Oh, your stance is too wide.''

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Sports Jokes

There are three men in ahotel each wanting a room.
The porter of the hotel says, "All the rooms are booked except for one room with a king size bed."
The three men are too tired to go to another hotel so they decide to take the room. The next morning, the three men wake up and the man on the left side of the bed said,
"Wow, I had vivid dream of getting a wonderous hand job."
The man on the right said,
"Yeah, me too."
The man in the middle said, "You two are disgusting, I had an ordinary dream that I went Skiing."

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Sports Jokes Hotel Jokes

American Olympian Picabo Street donated a large sum to her hometown hospital's emergency center.
Her town named the center after her: Picabo ICU.

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Sports Jokes American Jokes