Women - Page 55

Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers.

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1. Cats do what they want, when they want. 2. They rarely listen to you. 3. They're totally unpredictable. 4. They whine when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play they want to be left alone. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They expect you to cater to their every whim. 8. They're moody. 9. They leave their hair everywhere. 10. They drive you nuts.
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion: Cats are small women in fur coats.

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

World'd shortest joke: There was two women sitting quietly.

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Jokes about Women

I don’t agree with women when they say a nice dress can make anyone feel sеxy.
I just felt a bit gаy.

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Jokes about Women Gay and Lesbian Jokes

A man is out walking in the hills when he sees a woman standing on the edge of a cliff. She is very upset and crying loudly.
“What are you doing up here?” says the man.
“I’m going to кill myself,” replied the woman.
“Well, before you do, what about letting me fuск you in the аss?” said the man.
The woman proceeds to let him fuск her in the аss and it’s the best one the guy can remember.
“Anyway, why do you want to кill yourself?” asks the man.
“Because my family have disowned me for dressing up as a woman.”

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don't like women.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common?
Both of them make men start talking nonsense!

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

I saw a woman trying to park her car in the Tesco car park today.
After a few minutes I went over and said, “Would you like me to do that for you?”
“No thanks,” she replied.
“Are you sure?” I asked, as I walked out with my shopping 45 minutes later.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

If a tree falls on a woman and there’s nobody around to hear it, then why was there a tree in the kitchen?

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

It’s not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a реsт exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
Without forgetting to:
44. Give her compliments regularly.
45. Love shopping.
46. Be honest.
47. Be very rich.
48. Not stress her out.
49. Not look at other girls.
And at the same time, you must also:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself.
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself.
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.
53. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT to never forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
=========================================
How to make a man happy
1. Feed him.
2. Fсuк him.
3. Shut the fсuк up.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Friendship Jokes Sexist Jokes Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes Gynecology Jokes

RIP King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. The newsreader said women can’t drive in your country.
To be fair, they can’t drive here either.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

A study has shown that women are better at driving in the fog than men…
Of course they are, they’re used to not looking where they’re going.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Why do most homes have a window above the kitchen sink?
It gives women a point of view.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

Why are women's feet so small?
So they can stand closer to the sink while washing dishes.

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

“I caught my twelve-year-old son looking up women’s skirts today,” I told the barman after my second whiskey.
“That’s pretty normal for a twelve-year-old, isn’t it?” he asked.
“Not on eBay it isn’t!” I said.

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Jokes about Women Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

It’s impossible for women to be more intelligent than men because, where men have their brains, they just have a gaping hole!

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Scientists have just announced today that Dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.
So that pushes women down to third place.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Every woman’s magazine:
Page 8: Accept yourself for who you are
Page 15: How to lose 2 stone in a week
Page 16: Best cake recipe

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Jokes about Women Sexist Jokes

Two women apply for the same office job.
One is straight out of university and has a degree in business and the other one has been doing the same job for a different company for three years and has a wealth of knowledge and experience. Which one gets the job?
The one with the biggest тiтs, of course.

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Sexist Jokes Boob Jokes

I never tip waitresses, only waiters.
I’m sick of giving money to women for doing what’s expected.

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Sexist Jokes