Calculus jokes

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Why wont Goldilocks drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It's too cubed.

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What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
A natural log cabin!

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What is the first derivative of a соw?
Prime Rib!

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Why?
Because all poles are in Eastern Europe!

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What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?
"Paper or plastic?"

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What's the derivative of Amazon with respect to cost of shipping?
Amazon Prime!

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What is polite and works for the phone company?
A deferential operator.

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What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
An Algorithm

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Why was the parent function upset with its child?
It was stretched to its limit.

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What is purple and commutative?
An abelian grape

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Did I tell you about my hot math teacher?
She derives me crazy....

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Did you hear the one about the statistician?
Probably

What wild animal is good at calculus?
The tangent lion.

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Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.

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Why was the function so веnт out of shape?
Its regression model was too tight a fit.

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What's yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice.
Zorn's Lemon.

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Why did the algebra students throw bottles of hand cream across the classroom?
They were investigating projectile lotion.

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What do you get if you cross an elephant with a zebra.
Elephant zebra sin theta.

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Why is it that the more accuracy you demand from an interpolation function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?
That's the Law of Spline Demand.

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