Definitions...
Marriage:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Lecture:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either.
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic:
A book which people praise, but never read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom bomb:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hеll in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he/she can die rich.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and then shakes your confidence later.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and then kills you by his bills.