Disability Jokes and Disabled Jokes

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I lost my virginity to a rетаrd last night... I wanted my first time to be special.

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Knock! Knock!
Who’s There?
A midget
A мidgет who…
A мidgет who cant reach the doorbell.

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“What do we want?”
“HEARING AIDS!”
“When do we want them?”
“HEARING AIDS!”

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I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

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I have sexdaily, I mean dyslexia, fcuk

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Q: Why do farts smell?
A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

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Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, “When I was little”?

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I’m proud to say I donated over $10 million to disabled gymnasts in Eastern Europe last year. Apparently they contacted my bank to let me know that ‘the invalid Czechs were bouncing’ which is great news.

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I had a dоdgy dwarf do a bit of casual building work for me.
He asked to be paid under the table.

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My Dad: People overcome adversity all the time son… Look at Beethoven. They told him he was deaf, but did he listen?

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I can‘t believe how uncaring some people are. I‘m trying to raise money for charity but every time I ask someone if they can spare some money to help spastics they look at me in disgust.

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I used to have a relationship with a blind girl which was rewarding but really challenging. It took me ages to learn how to copy her husband’s voice.

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I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.
“What happened to your face?” I asked.
“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.
“Boxing?” I enquired.
“No…” he said, “… hurdles.”

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My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

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One of my mental patients stormed in earlier and shouted,”Why the fuск am I a telephone!?”
So,I said to the nurse, “Whatever you do,don’t answer him.”

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Q. Why can’t dyslexics smell gas?
A, Because they are poor smellers and often can’t even smell their own name.

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I decided to help in the search for the 11 year old autistic boy whose missing.
My strategy was the best way to find an autistic boy was to think like one.
Now I’m fcyking lost.

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When you’re a мidgет shorts don’t exist, only trousers and super long legged trousers.

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