Funny Riddles

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Q: What's long and hard and has сuм in it?
A: Cucumber, dirтy people.

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What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry.

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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.

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Q: What animal turns about 200 times around its axis after it dies?
A: A roast chicken.

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Q: When a child is going to school for the first time, where will it sit?
A: Nowhere, it is still going.

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Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

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Sluт jokes are just whoreable.

Q: What’s the difference between a whоrе and a вiтсh?
A: Whоrе’s fсuк everyone at the party, Вiтсhеs fсuк everyone at the party except you.

Q: How do you make a hormone?
A: Stick a rusty fсuкing chainsaw up her c*nt.

Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A: Brothel sprouts.

Q: What do you get when you cross a whоrе with a systems engineer?
A: A fcukin know-it-all!

Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a whоrе?
A: A hоокеr because she can wash her сrаск and reuse it.

Q: What do you call a Serbian whоrе?
A: Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch

Q: What does bungee jumping and whоrеs have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re sсrеwеd.

Q: Did you hear about the Chinese whоrе that had a black baby?
A: She named him Sum Ting Wong!

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch роrnо movies backward?
A: They like the part where the whоrе gives the money back.

Q: What do you call a whоrе with no legs?
A: A nightcrawler!

Q: What’s the difference between your job and a Dead Whоrе?
A: Your job still suскs!

Q: What’s the difference between a whоrе and a hockey player?
A: A hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods

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Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest senator and an old drunк are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100 dollar bill. Who gets it?
A: The old drunк, of course - the other three don't exist.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and kangaroo together?
Giant holes all over Africa!

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Question: Where do you go in through one hole and come out through two holes at the same time?
Answer: By putting on your trousers.

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Funny riddle: Peter’s smart phone fell into a big mug of coffee but didn’t get wet. How was this possible?
Answer: It was coffee powder.

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Question: What hard rock group has four dudes but neither of them plays a guitar?
Answer: Mount Rushmore.

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Riddle: I move at a tremendous speed, as fast as a car, and yet I’m always at the same place. What am I?
Answer: A ventilator.

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Q: I have 4 legs but never run. What am I?
A: A chair.

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Q: Do you know what you can hold without ever touching it?
A: A conversation.

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Q: How many sides are there to a circle?
A: Two. The inside and the outside.

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Nice riddle:What can answer in any language? What can speak without a mouth? What can sing without an ear?
Answer: An echo.

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Q: What has a tail and a head, but no body?
A: A nickel.

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