I don’t know what she’s talking about most of the time
I woke up this morning and saw my wife sitting on the edge of the bed with two black eyes.
“What the fuск happened to you?” I asked.
“This is what happens when you drink 9 pints of lager,” she replied.
“That’s вullshiт,” I said, looking in the mirror, “I drank 9 pints of lager last night and my face is fine.”