I have disconnected my home alarm system and quit that candy-ass neighborhood watch. … I grew a scruffy beard, bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each...

I have disconnected my home alarm system and quit that candy-аss neighborhood watch.
…
I grew a scruffy beard, bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.
…..
Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching my house 24/7.
I have never felt safer and I’m saving $49.99 a month!

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