I was delighted when the debt company I owe money to said they were going to send some bay leaves round to my house. They’re absolutely my favourite herb, so I borrowed a few quid and knocked up a...

I was delighted when the debt company I owe money to said they were going to send some bay leaves round to my house. They’re absolutely my favourite herb, so I borrowed a few quid and knocked up a chicken biryani, ready to eat with them. Imagine my shock therefore when two fат skinhead thugs in suits turned up on my doorstep and walked off with my cooker. Ваsтаrds!

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