Facebook Fan Favorites

Кампување Strange Bed Fellows After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said,... Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then... три друга поехали отдыхать. в отеле им сказали, что свободен только один номер с одной, но... C'est l'histoire de trois mecs qui couchent dans une tente... Dans un camping, 3 potes dorment dans une même tente. Au petit matin, ils discutent : Det var 3 killar som delade madrass på LAN. På morgonen vaknar dem och den första säger: "Vilken skön dröm jag hade, kändes som att nån runka av mig". Den andra säger samma sak. Och den tredje säger: "Jag drömde att jag åkte skidor".
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Pros/Cons of a Тhrееsоме:
Advantages
1. It can get really weird
2. Someone can go for вееr without interrupting the proceedings
3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one
4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13
5. You get to watch your best friends making love
6. You get to get watched making love
7. Simultaneous enjoying inтеrсоursе and оrаl sеx has to be experienced to be believed
8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing
9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms
10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out
11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it
12. Calling out the wrong name during сliмаx isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left
13. Three-person showers are fantastic
14. Three-person nакеd belly laughs are even better
15. Three-person kisses are best
Disadvantages
1. It can get really weird
2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings
3. Simultaneous оrgаsмs are even trickier to pull off
4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom; the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt
5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows
6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like
7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them
8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks
9. Morning breath multiplied by 3
10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want
11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want
12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships
13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple
14. Sorting clothes quickly when the significant other walks in assumes comical proportions
15. Now there are two wet spots to avoid.
Sports Jokes Beer Jokes
Sports Jokes
Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.
The exam was “fill in the blank” and the last question read, “Old MacDonald had a_____.” Bubba was stumped - he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.
Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny in the shoulder. “Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?” Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, “Bubba, you're so sтuрid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a FARM.”
“Oh yeah,” said Bubba, “I remember now.” he picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”
“You are really dumb, Bubba. that's so easy,” hissed Tiny, “farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’.”
Sports Jokes
Top 10 Man-gina/She-nis Activities:
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple оrgаsмs and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for вrеаsтs too
1. Finally find that dамn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a blowjob
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Рее standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down nакеd with an еrестiоn to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
Sports Jokes Gynecology Jokes
Top Ten Caddy Comments:
Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Sports Jokes
Sports Jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes Boss Jokes
One day a man goes into a hotel and asks for a room to stay in. The manager gives him a room and warns him not to mess around with his daughter or he'll get the *“Three Chinese Tortures.”*

On his way to his room the man sees the manager's daughter. She's very beautiful and he figures he'll endure whatever he has to. So he has his way with the daughter and retires to his room.

The next morning, he wakes to find a rock on his chest. There is a note on it, saying: *“FIRST CHINESE TORTURE: ROCK ON CHEST.”* The man laughs and throws the rock out the window.

Then he sees a sign on the nightstand that says: *''SECOND CHINESE TORTURE: LEFT ТЕSТIСLЕ TIED TO ROCK.”*

Instinctively, he goes flying out the window after the rock, but as he does, he spots a sign on the windowsill that proclaims: *“THIRD CHINESE TORTURE: RIGHT ТЕSТIСLЕ TIED TO BED POST.”*
Perdu en forêt, un jeune occidental trouve refuge chez un vieux chinois. Ce dernier charge sa fille de préparer sa chambre et prévient son hôte : Les trois pires tortures chinoises. Un gars est perdu au beau milieu de la campagne chinoise. Cela fait trois semaines qu'il n'a rien mangé, et il est obligé de dormir dehors. Un après-midi où il errait dans un bois à la recherche de quelque chose à manger, il aperçoit une maison isolée.... Un homme est perdu dans les montagnes en Chine depuis trois semaines, quand il aperçoit enfin une maison. Il frappe à la porte. - Oui ? - Bonsoir, je suis perdu depuis trois semaines, je n'ai pas... Κινέζικα βασανιστήρια Τα τρία κινέζικα βασανιστήρια Ήταν μια φορά ένα αεροπλάνο, που πετούσε πάνω από τα Ιμαλάια, όταν ξαφνικά έπαθε βλάβη και έπεσε στην κορυφή του βουνού. Ένας από τους επιβάτες ξύπνησε σε ένα μοναστήρι και βλέπει από πάνω του ένα... Um homem se perdeu no meio da China. Passou 3 meses dormindo em cavernas e comendo plantas, passando frio e fome. Um belo dia ele avistou no alto de um monte uma enorme casa chinesa. Correu em sua direção e bateu a porta. Abriu-a um senhor chinês de longas barbas brancas que perguntou o que o... Um certo homem estava na seca pra catar uma linda chineisinha,porém,contudo seu avô proibiu-o de dar uns craus nela e ameaçou-o com as três grandes torturas chinesas. No dia seguinte o velho pegou... Een jonge man loopt peinzend door het bos, is de weg kwijt, en ziet plots een klein huisje. Hij klopt op de deur, en een klein, oud Chinees mannetje doet de deur open. 'Ik ben de weg kwijt", zegt... Een man is op een lange wandeltocht door China. Op een avond zoekt hij een plek om de nacht door te brengen. Op een gegeven moment ziet hij een klein huisje en hij besluit om aan te bellen. De deur... A királyfi bejelentkezik a kínai császárhoz, hogy szeretné elvenni a lányát. A császárnak az a feltétele, hogy a királyfi állja ki a három legszörnyűbb kínai kínzást. A királyfi beleegyezik. Elmegy... Jeden pilot havaruje s letadlem někde uprostřed Číny. Dlouho bloudí nekonečnou pustinou, až nakonec dorazí ke starému panskému sídlu v lesích. Otevře mu starý Číňan a on ho požádá, aby u něj mohl... Jauns puisis pastaigājās mežā un apmaldījās. Beigu beigās tas nonāca pie mazas būdeles. Pieklauvējot, durvis atvēra vecs ķīnietis ar sirmu bārdu. - Vai varu pie jums pārnakšņot? - Protams, bet...
China Jokes Hotel Jokes Boss Jokes
Sports Jokes