Love Jokes

Love is one way to get to a persons heart the other is Chuck Norris' fists.

1

A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied:
I love sauna!

1

What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.

1

Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.

41

There were two guys at a gym Dan and Mike who hit the showers after a hard morning workout.
Dan said to Mike "Hey! Have you heard? That there is a gay guy at our gym today."
The Mike looking really curious and replies "Oh? Who do you think he is?"
Dan looks at Mike from mid-section to eye level and, says "Let me give you a kiss first before I tell you who."

46

What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You would think R but it is the C that love.

50

A guy's walking along the beach and he finds a magic lamp.
He rubs it and two blonde genies come out.
They tell him they'll grant him any three wishes he wants.
So he makes his wishes...
He wakes up in bed with 50 of the most beautiful women he's ever seen and he'd just made love to all of them.
Then he walks outta the bed and opens a treasure chest filled with more money than you could ever imagine...
Then two KKK members come riding in on horses, throw a noose over a tree and hang him...
The KKK members take off their masks and its the two blonde genies one of them says to the other:
"I can understand why he wanted to sleep with all the women, I know why he wanted a chest full of money...
But I can't figure out why the hell he would wanna be hung like a nigger..."

19

I wrote a romance novel. It's called, "She Fell In Love With A Painter, But He Gave Her The Brush."

0

Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

0

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

0

"Why don't you trust me?", she texted both the guys simultaneously.

0

My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory.

0

I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.

0

In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now.

0

The only difference between the people I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

0

Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside... Break their bones because they have 206 of them.

0

An iron rule of a leader - make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first.

0

You shouldn't come back, because later you'll still want to leave.

0

Let's emotionally damage each other and call it Love.

0