Love Jokes

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The kiss is a wordless articulation of desire whose object lies in the future, and somewhat to the south.

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We come to love not by finding a perfect person... but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

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It's better to be the first lover than a third wife.

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I'm glad he's single because I'm going to climb that like a tree.

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I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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I am now on three dating sites because you can never get enough rejection.

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You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

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Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.

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It's a sin to love another's wife and a punishment to love yours.

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All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them...

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I asked my heart, "Why can't I sleep tonight? Could I possibly be in love with someone?"
My heart replied, "Don't act like you are in love with anyone, it's because you slept in the afternoon."

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I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you.

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If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.

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I romantically looked at my girlfriend and said to her, "Love is in the air."
Apparently, she didn't agree. "No, that's pollen."

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Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has.

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Question: What did the bride give to the groom that loves onions?
Answer: Onion Ring!

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What makes you think this is my first time?

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