Love Jokes

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There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

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A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife says, “I love you!”
“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.
“It’s me,” says the wife. “Talking to the wine.”

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Let's emotionally damage each other and call it Love.

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An iron rule of a leader - make love to your wife in the morning and you will be the first.

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Never break someone's heart because they have only one inside... Break their bones because they have 206 of them.

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The only difference between the people I've dated and Charles Manson is that Manson has the decency to look like a nut case when you first meet him.

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In accordance to the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle of Quantum Mechanics, we may already be in love right now.

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I read a survey that said 82% of people enjoy being cuddled. But if the people on this bus are any indication, the real figure is, like 0%.

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My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it's only good in theory.

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"Why don't you trust me?", she texted both the guys simultaneously.

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They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

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Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

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Girl: Baby I want to ask you something.
Boy: Ask me for anything, I will do it for you, you are my heaven and earth.
Girl: Can u кill a lion 4 me?
Boy: Are u sick? How can I кill a lion for you? Please ask for something else.
Girl: OK, let me go through the messages on your phone.
Boy: hmmmmm. Where is the lion you want me to кill?

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If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

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It's not love until you don't want them to have a good time without you.

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What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.

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You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

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One day you will meet someone so amazing in every way who will want absolutely nothing to do with you.

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