Memo to all personnel
SUBJECT: Company sponsored additional training.
As you are all aware, it is the company policy to ensure that all employees are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training Programme, (S. H. I. T.). We have always been proud of the fact that this company has given its employees more S. H. I. T. than any other employer.
Our management team are specially trained to ensure that you get all the S. H. I. T. that you can handle.
If any employee feels that they do not receive enough S. H. I. T., then please contact your supervisor immediately.
If you graduate up the managerial ladder, by accepting all the S. H. I. T. that is given to you, then you can qualify for our supervisors Complete Responsibility Action Programme. (C. R. A. P.)
To become eligible for or management team, simply take all the S. H. I. T. you can, then, with all the additional C. R. A. P. that you then get, you will soon reach the highest positions in the company.
Any employee who has the initiative and drive to take both S. H. I. T. and C. R. A. P. will soon become one of the elite.
For a limited period only, the company is offering all employees the chance to try for our latest scheme, the Advanced Supervisory Staff Helping Our Local Employees. (A. S. S. H. O. L. E.)
If you work hard, you will find that the more S. H. I. T. you take, and the more C. R. A. P. that you handle, will qualify you as an A. S. S. H. O. L. E. in a very short time.
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