(Must be read with an italian accent, preferably out loud)
One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel.
Ina Morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast.
She brings me only one рiss. I tella her I want two рiss.
She say go to the toilet.
I say you no understand. I wanna two рiss onna my plate.
She say you better not рiss onna plate, you sonna ma вiтсh.
I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma вiтсh.
Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant.
The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock.
She tell me everyone wanna fock.
I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table.
She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma вiтсh.
I don’t even know the lady and she call me sonna ma вiтсh!
So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no sh1ts onna my bed.
I call the manager and tella him I wanna sh1t.
He tell me to go to toilet.
I say you no understand. I wanna sh1t on my bed.
He say you better not sh1t onna bed, you sonna ma вiтсh.
I don’t even know the man and he call me sonna ma вiтсh. I go to the
Checkout and the man at the desk say:
“Peace on you”.
I say рiss on you too, you sonna ma вiтсh, I gonna back to Italy!
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