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Latest Jokes

Did you hear about the mushroom that won gold at the Olympics? He was a champignon to his people.

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Jokes

What does Tiger Woods (golfer) and the Queen of England have in common?
Tee time.

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Jokes

If quitters never win,
And winners never quit,
Who made up the saying?
Quit while you're ahead!

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Jokes

How do you measure the intelligence of a vegetable?
With an IQ-cumber!

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Jokes

What do you call a really lazy guy on drugs?
A baked potato.

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Jokes

The scare crow got promoted to the manager at a supermarket, because he was outstanding in his field

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Jokes

Mattress: Nothing really mattress.
Armchair: Couldn't chair less.

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Jokes

I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

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Jokes

An Over the Line team was made up of chefs from a local restaurant. They all wore chef hats as part of their uniforms. One of them tried to wear two, but he was disqualified because, as a judge pointed out, it was just one-toque Over the Line.

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Jokes

Did you hear the joke about the old man with the broken hearing aid?
Neither did he.

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Men jokes

My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's crying.
She's using sigh-cology.

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Jokes

The seabird had to have a rest during it's migration because it ran out of "petrel".

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Jokes

What did the "T" say to "here"?
"Are we there yet?"

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Jokes

I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

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Jokes

A Chinese guy sees his mate flirting with a woman this is what they said:
Mate: I'm entirely innocent! I just happen to be passing this certain young lady, whoever she is! Woman: Why's he wearing a lampshade? (referring to his Chinese hat) Chinese guy: If you want it, it's yours!
Woman: But what would I be doing with a lampshade?
Chinese guy: Get yourself a lamp, and it'll make a change from turning my mate on!

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Jokes about Women

I forgot where the sun came up....
Then it dawned on me.

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Jokes

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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Jokes

My mum always said that men are like car park spaces ... The good ones are already taken; the rest are either too far away, too awkward or just disabled ... Kickass if you agree

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Men jokes

I told her that no sensible person would go out in the cold weather wearing nothing but a bikini.
So she went out with a little моrоn.

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Jokes

What did the educated sweet potato say?
I think, therefore I yam.

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Jokes