Latest Jokes

A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’ So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
(scroll and keep reading!)
Please note:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a “New Wives Store”
Just across the street.
The 1st Floor has wives that are GOOD IN BED !!
The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been seen
Last week, my girlfriend and i were in bed kissing passionately and getting sensual. As our passion began to heat'up, she said..... "NO BABY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT, I Just Want You To Hold Me".
I screamed "WHAT??!!"
"What Was That?!"
She replied...."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man".
She further added...."Can't you just love me for who i am, and not what i do for you in the bedroom?".
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, i just went to sleep.
The next day, i decided to cancel going to school so that i could spend time with her.
We went out and had a nice lunch, then i took her shopping at a very big boutique.
I walked around with her as she tried on several expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so i told her we would just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to go with her new clothes, so i surprised her by telling her to just get a pair of shoes for each cloth she selects.
We went over to the jewelry section where she picked'out a pair of gold earrings.
She was so excited, she also asked for a Bracelet and a Wrist'Watch, and i surprised her further when i replied..."That's Okay Honey, You Can Have Them All".
She was on'top of the world from all the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said...."I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".
I could hardly contain myself when i replied her...."NO BABY I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT".
Her face went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT"??!!.
I further said...."Honey I Just Want You To Hold Those Things For A While".
"You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman".
Just when she had this look like she was going to кill me, i further added....
"Why can't you just love me for who i am, and not for the things i buy you?".
Apparently she won't allow me touch her this night either, but at least she knows am smarter than her.