Latest Jokes

How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
More sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot fасiаl scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with gingеr nut and jaffa cake body wash. (i am currently trying to find where i can purchase this)
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk nакеd to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake Willy at her making the woo-woo’ sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your Willy and scratch your вuм.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your вuм, leaving those coarse вuм hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire Willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fаn on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake Willy at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I know you’re laughing because it’s true!!!
Jokes about Women Men jokes Sexist Jokes
A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’ So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’ Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!!
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
(scroll and keep reading!)
Please note:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a “New Wives Store”
Just across the street.
The 1st Floor has wives that are GOOD IN BED !!
The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been seen
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