Newest jokes - Page 189

"Dad," asked son, "What's that shriveled up old thing on Grandma?"
Dad replied ''That's Grandpa!"

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes

What do spaghetti and women have in common?
They both squirm when you eat them.

28 0

Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Food Jokes Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes

Q: What do men and parking spaces have in common?
A: The good ones are always taken and the free ones are either very small or handicaped.

1 0

Men vs Women Jokes

There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site.
The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favorite meal being beef soup. But one day the chef ran out of meat and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there was no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place. At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup. During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delight that the soup tasted extremely good today and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces. The chef asked,
"What's the matter boys, did I sсrеw up the cooking?"
"No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the sсrеwing."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Restaurant Jokes

A boy was playing with himself in the bathtub when his father walked in and said, "Son, if you don't stop doing that, you'll go blind."
The boy replied,"Dad, I'm over here."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes

Q: How do you know when a man's going to say something intelligent?
A: He starts his sentence with "My wife told me... ."

1 0

Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

A man is sitting next to a woman on an airplane. Suddenly, the man sneezes. He unzips his pants and wipes himself off with his handkerchief. He zips up and continues reading his magazine.
The woman cannot believe what she has just seen. He sneezes again, unzips and wipes himself off with the handkerchief.
The woman says, "Sir, that's disgusting and rude! If you do it again, I'm going to call the flight attendant and have you removed from this plane."
He says, "I'm so sorry that I've offended you. I have this very rare, embarrassing condition that causes me to оrgаsм every time I sneeze."
The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty, says with sympathy, "Oh, you poor man. What do you take for it?"
"Pepper," he answers.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Aviation Jokes Boss Jokes

Q: Who made the first soft drink?
A: Adam - he made Eve's cherry pop.

0 0

Religion jokes Men vs Women Jokes

Three bored girls are sitting around, and one of them suggests that they make up nicknames for their ideal boyfriends and name them after soda pops.
The first girl says, "I want mine to be 7-Up, 'cause seven days a week, he's up."
The second girl answers, "I want mine to be Mountain Dew 'cause when he's in between my mountains, we'll be doing it."
The third girl replies, "Mine's gonna be Jack Daniel's."
Her friends argue, "You can't do that. Here we are talking about soda pop, and you're talking about a hard liquor."
The third girl says, "Exactly."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes

Q: What's a blonde's definition of socialism?
A: Partying!

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You don't know when it's going to come, how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.

76 0

Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes Weather jokes

Why does it take longer to make a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head first.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an оrgаsм!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"
"Snorting pepper."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Q: What kind of birth control do snakes use?
A: Anacondoms.

1 0

Men vs Women Jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush."
The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake."
A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sеx. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

40 1

Men vs Women Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes American Presidents Humor

A man relaxes with his evening paper when he hears a light knock on the door. He opens it, looks down and sees a small snail.
"Mister, could you spare some change?" the snail asks. The man picks up the snail, throws him into the bushes and goes back to reading.
A year later, there is another knock at the door. It's the snail again.
"What'd you do that for?"

1 0

Men vs Women Jokes American Presidents Humor

Q: Why didn't Smokey the Bear have cubs?
A: Every time his wife got hot, he stomped her out.

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes

Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle?
A: They realize they've given their last вlоw jobs.

40 0

Men vs Women Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes

A lady walks into the local record store.
"Do you have Jingle Bells on the old 12 inch?" she asks.
"No, but I've got dangling ваlls and a 7-inch," says the sмаrтаss behind the counter. The lady thinks for a second.
"Is that a record?"
"I think so. I'm only 14."

0 0

Men vs Women Jokes

Latest Jokes