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Latest Jokes

Astronaut's last words: ОМG guys, who farted? I have to open the window.

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Good jokes Fart Jokes Space jokes Last Word Jokes

I just like to sleep without clothes on. The air-hostess could have been a bit more understanding.

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Good jokes Flight attendant jokes

Waiter? I’m sorry, but I cannot eat all this.
Would you be so kind and pack it for me? To take away?
But sir, this is a buffet.
Pack it up I said!“

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Good jokes Waiter Jokes

Funny, those road signs:
"Caution - Watch for Children!" I mean, how dangerous can a child be?

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Good jokes

My friend talked me into lending her money for plastic surgery. I’ve been trying to get it back for months.
Unfortunately I have no idea what she looks like these days.

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Good jokes Money jokes

Girl:
"I'm sick and tired of you pretending to be Some detective ace all the time. I think we should split up."
Me:
"Excellent idea. That way we can cover more ground."

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Good jokes Couple jokes Men vs Women Jokes

A couple sits on a sofa. He has foot odor and she has Mouth odor. After a moment of awkward silence, she says,
“Paul, I have To tell you something.”
“No need,” Paul raises his hand,
“it’s OK. I Know you ate my socks.”

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Good jokes

Why are you smiling?
Well I just made a test and I'm not pregnant.
That's wonderful, Harold!

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One-Liner Jokes

It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”

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One-Liner Jokes

Math book. The only place where it’s normal to have 21 melons and suddenly eat twelve of them.

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One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes

Man attempted to hijack a bus full of Japanese tourists. The police has 3756 photos of him.

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One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes Japanese Jokes

What is white and flies up?
A rетаrdеd snowflake

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One-Liner Jokes

Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!

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One-Liner Jokes

I will never forget my dad’s last words:
“Will you stop playing with the bow, Nicholas?!”

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One-Liner Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Question on Facebook:
“What do you do with the white ball once you drank the mozzarella?”

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One-Liner Jokes

An international football team flies on a charter jet
To their next tournament. It’s quite a long flight and they get bored
And decide, since it’s a charter flight, that they’re going to play some
Football on the plane.
After a while the captain is getting angry with all the yelling and
Bumping and sends his co-pilot to go out there and shut them up.
30 seconds later the co-pilot comes back and the plane is wonderfully
Silent.
“That’s awesome, how did you manage to calm them down this quickly?”
“It was no problem. I just said, ‘Listen, guys, the weather is lovely –
Why don’t you play outside for a while?’”

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Good jokes Aviation Jokes Military Jokes Pilot Jokes

Where do fish go to chill?
At a sаndваr.

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Good jokes

That awkward moment when you talk to somebody, you
Feel something wet on your face but it’s not raining.

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Good jokes

A mom shark is teaching her son how to hunt swimmers Properly.
“So, first you go and circle them making sure your fin is showing. And Then you go at them full blast and eat them.”
“OK, but why don’t I just go at them full blast and eat them right Away?”
“I guess you could, son, but would you really want to eat them with all That shiт in their intestines?”

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Good jokes Animal Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his Company for embezzlement of many millions.
At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him:
„Don’t Worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“
And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he Didn’t have a penny anymore.

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Good jokes Lawyer Jokes