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Latest Jokes

When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes

A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.

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Animal Jokes

Three women (a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette) are lost in the forest while hunting. They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. Then the redhead gets up and goes hunting. She comes back with 2 rabbits. The other two say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped." Then the brunette leaves and comes back with a deer. The other two say, "Wow, Where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped." The blonde leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue. They others say, "Wow, where did you get that?" She says,
"I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn't stop."

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said,
"Two to four years."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch.
One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"

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Animal Jokes

My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.
My school had it’s own coroner.
We used to write essays like:
“What I want to be IF I grow up...”

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One-Liner Jokes

2 friends were camping out one night, when all of the sudden one of them jumps up screaming, "A SNAKE JUST BIT ME ON THE TIP OF MY РЕNIS!!".
The other friend said,
"Don't worry, I am going to town to find a doctor, I will be right back!".
So he goes to town, and finally finds a doctor.
"Doctor!! My friend just got bit by a snake!!!" the friend says. "It's ok", the doctor says,
"All you have to do is suск the poison out.".
The friend says thank you, and runs back to the camp site. The injured friends asks, "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY? WHAT DID HE SAY?"
The other friend replies,
"Doctor said you gonna die!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes

Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

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Dad Jokes

If I wanted to кill myself I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your iq

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Jokes

What pool never runs dry?
The one on the Titanic.

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Jokes

If sеx with three people is called a тhrееsоме and sеx with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it’s clear why everyone calls me handsome.

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Sex Jokes

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USA Jokes

The teacher asks Jim, "Jimmy, why aren't you writing?"
"I don't has a pencil."
"Jimmy, that's not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don't have a pencil, he doesn't have a pencil, we don't have a pencil."
"Who stole all the pencils then?"

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One-Liner Jokes

Two guys were walking past an outdoor basketball court.
"You want to play Horse?" asked one guy.
His friend replied, "Sure, I guess... but only if I get to be the front legs."

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One-Liner Jokes

Yo mama so fат she puts insurance on her food.

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Food Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Girl: yes, but would you stay there….

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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink.

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Jokes about Women

Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Computer Jokes

You work at a corner store and a hot girl walks in.
You ask for her number and she gives you a piece of paper with her phone number and address.
She tells you to take her out today.
She leaves and you tell your boss that you're going to f*uck the sh*t out of her and how you're going to rock her world.
You go to her house and your boss is in the kitchen and the girl tells him, big daddy.
You run out as fast as you can.
You go to work the next day and the girl is there waiting for you and tells you that it's over between you two.
Your boss asks you why didn't you go through with it.
You tell him you thought you would be mad and fire me if you knew I was talking about your daughter.
Your boss says I'm not her father in her Plummer.
You ask him why she called him daddy.
He says because that's my first name.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes Flirt jokes

I used to work in an office, and when I worked in an office, I celebrated all the holidays -- Cesar Chavez Day, Labor Day -- just to get a day off of work. It could be ККК Day -- Do I get a day off of work?

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One-Liner Jokes