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Latest Jokes

My parents raised me as an only child, which really рissеd off my sister.

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Morbid jokes

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

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Morbid jokes

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

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Morbid jokes

My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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Morbid jokes

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

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Morbid jokes

Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

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Morbid jokes

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

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Morbid jokes

Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.

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Morbid jokes

My husband left a note on the fridge that said, ""This isn't working."" I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!

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Morbid jokes

When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite вееr mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

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Morbid jokes Beer Jokes

What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.

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Morbid jokes

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

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Morbid jokes

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. ""You can't cut me down,"" the tree exclaims, ""I'm a talking tree!"" The man responds, ""You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.""

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Morbid jokes

I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

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Morbid jokes

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

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Morbid jokes

The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.

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Morbid jokes

I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

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Morbid jokes

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

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Morbid jokes

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

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Morbid jokes