Animal Jokes

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Whenever we use similes for some reason, we always use animals. And I'll show you what I mean. They say a man's an animal trying to pick up a girl at a bar. He likes to show her he's strong as an ox, sly as a fox, memory like an elephant, can become slippery as an eel, a regular snake in the grass. Girl likes that; she's going home with him. They're snug as two bugs in a rug. So they go home. They huмр like rabbits. Unfortunately, he's quick as a bunny. She's depressed. She goes right into the refrigerator. She's hungry as a bear, eats like a pig. He goes to the liquor cabinet, gets drunк as a skunk. He drinks like a fish; he's blind as a bat. Next thing you know, he's out in the street, nакеd as a jaybird. He's рissing like a racehorse. He goes, 'Sсrеw her. I'm hung like a horse.'
Animal Jokes Men jokes
The only соw in a small Kentucky town stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found that they could buy a соw just across the state line in Illinois for $200.
They brought the соw from Illinois and the соw was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the соw to produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They bought the bull and put it in the pasture with their beloved соw. However, whenever the bull tried to mount the соw, the соw would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the соw would move away from the bull and he could not succeed in his quest. The people were very upset and decided to ask the Vet, who was very wise, what to do.
They told the Vet what was happening. “Whenever the bull tries to mount our соw, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An attempt from the side, she walks away to the other side.”
The Vet thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you by chance, buy this соw in Illinois?”
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned where they bought the соw. “You are truly a wise Vet,” they said. “How did you know we got the соw in Illinois?”
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, “My wife is from Illinois.
Animal Jokes