Animal Jokes

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What did the bunny give his girlfriend when he asked her to marry him?
A 13-carrot ring!

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Animal Jokes

A baby mouse sees a bat flying overhead and says,
"Mom! I think I see an angel!"

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Animal Jokes

Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood - down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said,
“Your cat is rushing about like mad.”
“I know,” the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements.”
- Larry Wilde -
Library of Laughter

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

After leaving a bar, two gаy guys saw a dog urinate on a fire hydrant. When the dog finished, he began licking himself. "Boy, I sure wish I could do that!" one guy said to the other.
"Well, go ahead. He doesn't look too vicious." was the reply.

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Animal Jokes

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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Animal Jokes

If I were a dog would you help me bury my воnе?

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Animal Jokes

Penguins are just panda chickens

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Animal Jokes

A chicken walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
"We don't serve poultry!"
The chicken says,
"That's OK, I just want a drink."

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Animal Jokes

My dog jumped in the washing machine yesterday. Don’t worry, at least he died in comfort.

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Animal Jokes

I knocked on my neighbour’s door.
I said, “Your cat sat on the bonnet of my car and left scratch marks all over it.”
“I can only apologise!” said the woman, “He won’t do it again.”
I said, “Of course not, he’s dead.”

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic Zookeeper who gave Viаgrа to a dangerous crocodile? He read somewhere that it’s good for treating reptile dysfunction.

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Animal Jokes

Two little skunks called In and Out were playing in the woods.
Out went home, and his mother said,
"Where's In?, go and get him, there's a good boy."
So Out went back into the woods and returned shortly with his brother. "That's a good boy," said Mother skunk, "How did you find him so quickly?"
"Easy," said the little skunk, "In stinked ...."

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Animal Jokes

What sound does a hоrny toad make?
Rub it, rub it

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Animal Jokes

I bought a new dog yesterday. I’ve named him Rolex……. He’s a watchdog

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Animal Jokes

I've seen a turkey but I've never been to Turkey.

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Animal Jokes

An Anteater walks into a bar….
Bartender says “can I get you a drink?” ….
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo” ….
“How about something to eat?” ….
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo” ….
“What about some peanuts?” ….
“Nooooooooooooooooooooo” ….
Frazzled, the bartender says, “What’s with the long no’s”?
Anteater replies, “I was born with it”.

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Animal Jokes

Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

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Animal Jokes

Did you ever notice that when you вlоw in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

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Animal Jokes

I was in a quandry. My pet cockroach broke a leg tonight.
I thought about taking it to a vet, but you know how expensive vet’s visits are.
Then I had a bright idea! I fastened the leg in place with a roach clip until it heals.
If you are stopping by to help me blaze a joint, could you bring a clip?

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Animal Jokes

A guy walks into a bar and asks, "Who owns that Doberman tied up outside?"
A man replies,
"That's my dog".
"Well," says the first man, "I think my Chihuahua killed him."
"Your CHIHUAHUA killed my Doberman?"
"How'd he do that?" asks the man at the bar.
"I'm not sure. I think he got lodged in his throat".

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Animal Jokes Men jokes