Animal Jokes

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Why do black widow spiders кill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

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Men jokes Animal Jokes

How do you go about hiring a horse?
Try two pairs of stilts!

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Animal Jokes

Why do French like to eat snails so much?
They can’t stand fast food.

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Nationality Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

What do dinosaurs put on their floors?
Rep-tiles.

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Animal Jokes

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a соw?
Cowboom!

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Animal Jokes

What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?
Claws.

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Animal Jokes

Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a тооl is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my тооl?"
Elephant replies:
"What does it look like?"
Lion:
"Well it's got four points on it."
Elephant:
"Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse."
So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my тооl?"
Mouse:
"What does it look like?"
Lion:
"Well it's got four points on it."
Mouse:
"Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc."
So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my тооl?"
Croc:
"What does it look like?"
Lion:
"Well it's got four points on it."
Croc:
"Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar."
So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my тооl?"
Jaguar:
"Of course, I ate it."
Lion:
"Why did you do that?"
Jaguar:
"Well I'm a four point тооl eater Jaguar."

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Animal Jokes

What do you get if you cross a соw with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.

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Animal Jokes

If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.

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Animal Jokes

Girl: We have a mayor. Do you?
Horse: Sure!
Girl: What do you call it?
Horse: Same as you do. Mare!

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Animal Jokes

Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.

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Animal Jokes

A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas.
He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals.
The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers.
This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo.
It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar:
"Thanks; but we prefer fruit."

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

That tornado damage your соw barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.

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Animal Jokes Weather jokes

What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the соw together.

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Animal Jokes

Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
Because it gets you nowhere.

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Animal Jokes

What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hi, honey."

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Animal Jokes

What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.

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Animal Jokes

If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it?
Jawbreakers.

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Animal Jokes Food Jokes

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?
Flipper coin.

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Animal Jokes

How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.

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Animal Jokes Car and driving jokes