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Dog jokes

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Why did the dog lie down?
He found lying up a little hard.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What market shouldn't you take your dog to?
The flea market.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What looks like a dog, lives in a dog house, eats dog food and is extremely dangerous?
A Rottweiler with a black belt in karate.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What do you do when you see a dog eating your dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A good idea for a sign:
“Salespeople welcome – dog food has become really expensive”

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a Sаinт Bernard’s?
A dog that bites you and then goes to fetch help.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Why do dogs liск their butts?
Because nobody will do it for them.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A dog thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… They must be gods…”
The cat thinks, “Wow, the humans are bringing me food every day, they have me live in a nice house away from the cold, they take care of me… I must be God!”

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Pet Jokes Cat jokes Dog jokes

Why do men chase after women they don’t intend to marry?
Well why do dogs chase after cars they don’t intend to drive?

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A dog sits in a bar, sipping a bourbon.
A customer walks up to him and says, “It’s not often that I see a dog drinking bourbon here!”
The dog sniffs, “Yeah, hardly a surprise at these prices.”

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Go on, ask a dog how’s life.
He’ll most likely answer, „Ruff! “

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Would you rather have a 250 pound dog chase you or a lion?
Um… I’d rather he chased the lion.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

“I just found out why dogs drink out of the toilet.
My mother said it's because the water is a lot colder in there.
I'm like, How does my mother know that?”
- Wendy Liebman

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

Why don’t blind people parachute very often?
It makes their guide dogs really uncomfortable.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What do you do when you see a rabid dog?
That depends on whether the dog has seen you, too.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?
[Don’t know]
OK, in that case I think I’ll mail that letter myself, thank you.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

I should have been more suspicious when the Chinese guy offered to “wok my dog for me”…

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog eating from your plate?
Seek medical help.
You’ve been seeing too many 250 pound dogs recently.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes

What do you do when you find a 250 pound dog sleeping on your bed?
Quietly go sleep on the sofa.

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Pet Jokes Dog jokes