God Jokes

Most popular in this category
Jokes about Women Money jokes God Jokes Fat Jokes
God Jokes Political Jokes
God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes
A priest, a wizard, and an engineer are sentenced to be beheaded. The priest is first and is offered a final request, to which he asks to pray. After saying a few words, he steps up to the guillotine. The blade falls, and an inch above his neck, its stops. He yells wildly "My God has saved me", and seeing this miracle, his captors release him. The wizard steps up, and he in turn asks to say a few words before his death. He says a few words in an unknown tongue, points at the guillotine, and then puts his head down to be lopped off. Again, an inch above his head the blade stops. He shouts wildly "my magic has saved me", and he is released. The engineer is than lead up to the block and says,
"For my last request, I would like to face up so I can see my death coming." He is placed looking up and just before they release the blade he shouts "WAIT! I see what the problem is!"
God Jokes
Marriage and Family Jokes God Jokes Single People Jokes
A couple has a dog that snores. Annoyed because she can’t sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help.
The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles, and he will stop snoring.
‘Yeah right!’ she says.
A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep.  Muttering to herself, she goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully around the dog’s testicles.
Sure enough, the dog stops snoring.  The woman is amazed.
Later that night, her husband returns home drunк from being out drinking with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and immediately begins
Snoring loudly.
The woman decides maybe the ribbon might work on him. So, she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue  ribbon and ties it around her husband’s testicles.  Amazingly, it also works on him!
The woman sleeps soundly. The husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates.
He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog’s testicles. He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, ‘I don’t know where we were or what we did, but, by God we took FIRST and SECOND place!
Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes God Jokes Animal Jokes