Life Jokes

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I never could bring a woman into my house. At first, because of the parents. Later, because of the wife.

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Jokes about Women Life Jokes

Generally, all generalisations are false.

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Life Jokes

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

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Life Jokes

I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokémon I've caught.

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School Jokes Life Jokes

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

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Life Jokes

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

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Life Jokes

She is not my reword, I am her punishment.

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Life Jokes

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".

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Life Jokes

Be safety conscious. 80% of people are caused by accidents.

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Life Jokes

If someone is spitting behind you, it means you're in front.

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Life Jokes

We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour.

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Life Jokes

I intend to live forever... or die trying.

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Life Jokes

It's just a bad day, not a bad life.

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Life Jokes

30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Life Jokes

A woman is like a shadow: when you walk from behind she runs away. When you run from her - follows you behind.

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Jokes about Women Life Jokes

I am busy contemplating my future. Don't worry, this will only take a minute.

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Life Jokes

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

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Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Life Jokes

Most of the people dream of not working and having lots of money. During an economic crisis 50 % of those dreams came true.

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Life Jokes

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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Life Jokes

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

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Life Jokes