Влиза мъж в аптека. Рецепт La mujer en busca de Arsénico Arsen aus der Apotheke Ο Φαρμακοποιός Δηλητήριο Жена влегува во аптека и бара да купи отров. Жена в аптеката Ein Mann möchte seine Frau umbringen. Er geht zur Apotheke und verlangt Zyankali. Der Apotheker mustert ihn streng und meint: Le pharmacien au client: Аптекаря: Жена разбрала за изневярата на мъжа си и решава да го отрови с хапчета. Влиза въпросната дама при доктора и казва: A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." - Скажите, у вас есть мышьяк? Una donna entra in farmacia e chiede: A woman walks into a pharmacy Une femme se rend dans une pharmacie et demande de l'arsenic. Le pharmacien lui demande : Kommt ein Mann in die Apotheke und verlangt 50 Gramm Arsen. Fragt der Verkäufer: "Haben Sie dafür ein Rezept?" "Nein, aber ein Bild von meiner Schwiegermutter..." A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a... Kommt ein Mann in die Apotheke und sagt: „Bitte geben sie mir eine Packung Strychnin.“ Apotheker: „Wofür brauchen Sie das?“ Mann: „Ich will meine Frau ermorden.“ Apotheker: „Das können Sie doch nicht machen.“ Der Mann zieht ein Foto seiner Frau aus der Tasche und zeigt es dem Apotheker.... Przychodzi baba do apteki i mówi do aptekarza, że chce kupić arszenik. - Po co pani arszenik? - pyta aptekarz. - Chcę otruć mojego męża, który mnie zdradza. - Droga pani, nie mogę pani sprzedać arszeniku, aby pani zabiła męża, nawet w przypadku gdy sypia z inną kobietą. Na to kobieta wyciąga... Een dame wandelt de apotheek binnen en vraagt er wat arsenicum. "Waarvoor hebt u dat nodig, mevrouw?". "Om mijn man te vermoorden..." "Daarvoor mag ik u dat niet verkopen.". De dame haalt uit haar... Kadının biri, eczaneye dalar ve bir şişe arsenik ister. Eczacı, kadına arsenikle ne yapacağını sorar. Kadın: -Kocamı öldüreceğim! diye cevap verir. Eczacı: -Kusura bakmayın ama size bu sebeple... Uma mulher entra em uma farmácia e pede ao farmacêutico: - Por favor, gostaria de comprar um vidro de morfina. - Mas, minh asenhora, eu não posso verder este produto assim... Mas pra que é que você... Ein Mann, der seine Frau umbringen will, geht in die Apotheke und verlangt Zyankali. Der Apotheker: "Tut mir leid, ich kann ihnen das nicht einfach so rausgeben." Der Mann holt ein Bild von seiner... Uma mulher entra na farmácia e pede ao atendente que lhe traga 10g de cianureto. O rapaz, curioso, pergunta para quê ela precisa dessa substância tão letal. Ao que ela responde com a maior calma do... Una dama entra a una farmacia y le pide al farmacéutico: - Por favor, quisiera comprar arsénico. Dado que el arsénico es muy tóxico y letal, el farmacéutico quiso saber más datos antes de... Manden på apoteket: - Jeg vil gerne have lidt arsenik til min svigermor. - Har de recept? - Nej, men jeg har et billede Una señora entra en una farmacia y le pide al farmacéutico un frasco de arsénico. El doctor dice: - ¡Señora! ¿para qué quiere el arsénico? - Para matar a mi marido, -responde tranquila la señora. -... Una donna va in farmacia: "mi può dare il veleno più potente che ha" ed il farmacista: "a cosa le serve?" e la donna: "a uccidere mio marito" il farmacista: "non posso" e la donna caccia una foto... Ei käy, apteekkari sanoi asiakkaalle. - Arsenikin ostoon pitää olla lupa. Pelkkä anopin kuva ei käy. Apotekeren siger til kunden: - Nej da! Jeg kan ikke bare give dig Arsenik, bare sådan! Jeg skal have en recept, før jeg udleverer det! - Okaj, okaj! Hvad nu hvis jeg viser dig et billede af min... Egy nő bemegy a gyógyszertárba. - Patikus úr! Olyan mérget szeretnék venni, amivel gyorsan megölhetem a férjemet. - Hogy képzeli asszonyom, én ilyet nem adhatok önnek! Erre az asszony elővesz egy... A nő bemegy a patikába és mérget kér. A patikus meglepődik: - Asszonyom, miért van szüksége méregre? - Megölöm a férjemet. - Nagyon sajnálom, de nem adhatok el önnek mérget azért, hogy megöljön... En kvinna kom in på apoteket och ville köpa arsenik. Apotekaren undrade vad hon skulle ha det till. Jo, hon skulle ta livet av sin man... - Men jag kan ju inte sälja arsenik till dig när du ska ta... En una pequeña farmacia del pueblo entra una señora y dice: - Por favor, quiero comprar arsénico! - No puedo venderle eso. ¿Cuál es su finalidad? - ¡Matar a mi marido! - Mucho peor, para ese fin no... Een man komt bij de apotheker en hij vraagt wat arsenicum voor zijn schoonmoeder. "heeft u een voorschrift?" zegt de apotheker? "nee, maar wel een foto!" A patikus így szól a pult előtt álló izgatott férfihez: - Sajnálom, uram! Ahhoz, hogy arzént vegyen, recept is kell, nem elég az anyósa fényképe. En kvinna kom in på apoteket och ville köpa arsenik. - Vad ska ni ha det till frågade apotekaren? - Jag ska ta livet av min man!!! Apotekaren: - Jag kan inte sälja arsenik för att ni ska döda eran... Nainen käveli apteekkiin ja pyysi miesapteekkarilta syanidia ja nopeasti. Myyjä luonnollisesti huolestui moisesta pyynnöstä ja kysyi: - ”Miksi ihmeessä te tarvitsette syanidia?” Nainen selitti,... Aptiekā. - Cienījamais, lai iegādātos indi, nepieciešama recepte! - Ar sievas mātes fotogrāfiju nepietiks?! A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The... Egy asszony bemegy a patikába, és ciánt kér. Kérdezi tőle a gyógyszerész, hogy mihez kell a cián. A nő őszintén elmondja, hogy a férjét akarja megmérgezni. A patikus felháborodik: - Mit képzel,... Une femme entre dans une pharmacie et demande de l'arsenic... - Que comptez-vous en faire ? lui demande le pharmacien soupçonneux. - C'est pour tuer mon mari... - Quoi ? Vous plaisantez ! Je ne... Jedna gospođa dođe u ljekarnu i traži arsenik. Ljekarnik: - "Budući se radi o jakom otrovu, moram vas pita za što vam je potreban?" - "Želim otrovati moga muža." - "Žao mi je, ali u tom slučaju vam... Un homme entre dans une pharmacie. Il demande au pharmacien : - Bonjour, je voudrais du viagra ? - D’accord, vous avez une ordonnance avec vous ? - Non, mais j'ai la photo de ma femme ! C'est un gars qui entre dans une pharmacie : - Je voudrais un litre d'arsenic. - Grands Dieux ! Pourquoi faire ? - Pour ma femme. - Ah... et euuuuh... Vous avez une ordonnance ? - Non mais je peux... Uma mulher muito bonita, com um uniforme de doméstica, entra na farmácia. — Eu queria um frasco de cianeto! - pede ao farmacêutico. O homem responde: — Cianeto é um veneno muito forte! A senhora... Krásná dáma vkročí do lékárny, jde rovnou k magistrovi a hledíc mu přímo do očí klidně říká: "Potřebuji kyanid." Lékárník se ptá: " Na co proboha potřebujete kyanid?" . Dáma odpoví: "Jdu otrávit... Příjde pán do lékárny pro cyankáli. Lékárník ale povídá,že tento jed není volně prodejný. Pán sáhne do kapsy a ukáže fotku tchýně. Lékárník na to: "To měl pán říct,že má recept!" A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?” She is shocked. “Why would you want something like that?” The man calmly tells her, “I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover.” The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, “I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and мurdеr!” At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sеx with the pharmacist’s husband. She examines it then looks up at him. “Oh. I didn’t know you had a prescription.” 0 0 0
A wife and husband had been on a strict diet and the wife said yaknow weve been good about our diet lets have a cheat night tonight. The wife came home with kfc and wendys. the husband came home with sylvia from the office. 0 0 0
Doctor: Madam, Your Husband Needs Rest And Peace So Here Are Some Sleeping Pills.Wife: Doctor, When Should I Give Them To Him?Doctor: They Are For You.!! 0 0 0
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!” 0 0 0
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a “two for one special.” 0 0 0
I don’t really mind sleeping on the couch. It’s like living my childhood fantasies about the Wild West – including the angry mama bear nearby. 0 0 0
A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells, “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!”The boy sighed in relief, “Oh good, I'm relieved that it wasn’t new.” 0 0 0
Повече никакъв "Game of Thrones" за мъжа ми! Всеки път, когато ям поничка, той ме следва из къщата и казва „Shame. Shame. Shame” No more Game of Thrones for my husband. Every time I eat a donut he follows me around the house saying “Shame. Shame. Shame.” 0 0 0
One woman broke up with me and told me I was insecure. I thought, 'Great, this is gonna help. I feel a lot better about myself now.' 0 0 0
The husband was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He went out to ask his wife what was for supper. She was quite irritated about him sitting in the airConditioned house all day, so she shot back at him, "Think of me as dead from now on and do what you would do if I was."So he went back in the house and fixed him a big steak, potato and a big glass of tea. She walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "So you fixed something to eat? Where is mine?"He replied, "I didn't fix you anything as I thought you were dead." 0 0 0
If you live with a woman and she has a job and you do not have a job, when she gets up to go to work, you get up and do something -- anything. Just put some work boots on and sit on the porch until she leaves. Get your old shirt from when you used to work at Taco Веll, say, 'Tony called, says he needs me for the lunch rush.' Make her think you got something to do. Women don't like when you just lay on their couch all day. 0 0 0
The appendix is a part of the human body that isn’t used anymore, but used to have a function many years ago.Much like my соск since I got married. 0 0 0
Looking back, I can pinpoint the precise moment that my marriage turned sour.We were in bed, kissing and caressing each other, running our hands up and down each others bodies, experiencing wave after wave of pleasure.After what seemed like hours, we brought each other to a shuddering сliмаx and I held her in my arms.She brought her lips close to my ear, to whisper words of love…And that’s when my wife walked in. 0 0 0
The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?” 0 0 0
Me and my girlfriend tried role playing last night, we pretended that we were married.So she went to sleep and I had a wаnк watching роrn on the Ipad. 0 0 0