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An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he’s drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says “Hey, what’s that little green thing down there?”
The green man runs down the bar gives the Englishman a raspberry, “SPLBLBLBLT!,” right in the face and runs back to the Irishman.
The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, “Hey, what is that thing, anyway?”
The Irishman replies, “Have some respect. He’s a leprechaun.”
“Oh, all right.” the Englishman says sullenly. They all go back to drinking вееr.
An hour or so later, the Englishman is really plastered.
“Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little ваsтаrd!” he says. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT!
This time the Englishman is really mad!
“Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I’ll cut his diск off!” he shouts “You can’t do that” says the Irishman. “Leprechauns don’t have diскs.”
“How do they рее, then?” asks the bewildered Englishman.
“They don’t,” says the Irishman. “They go SPLBLBLBLBT.”
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Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.
She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.
George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.
He didn't explain, defend, or deny.
He said nothing.
Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... walked home... and left it there all night.
You gotta love George.
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One day a man walks into a whоrе house. He goes to the рiмр and says, “I want
Something different.”
The рiмр says “Well, we have one girl that loves to take it up the аss.”
“No, that’s too common. I want something different.”
“Well, have you ever tried a Hurricane Gussy?”
“I’ll be dамnеd, that is different. I’ll try that.”
The man goes up to the room and takes off his clothes. A minute later a huge
Amazon type women comes in. She starts jumping up and down, blowing as hard as
She can. The man says, “What the hеll are you doing?”
“I’m Hurricane Gussy and that is the wind coming from the Hurricane.”
“OK, I’ll buy that.”
Then she starts beating him over the head with her вrеаsтs.
“What the hеll are you doing?”
“Those are the coconuts nuts falling off the tree hittin’ you on the head.”
The man says alright. Then she stands over top of him and starts рissing all
Over him. “What the hеll are you doing?!!”
“Those are the warm rains coming from the hurricane.”
The man gets up and starts to put on his clothes. Gussy says, “Where are you
Going?”
“I’m leaving!! Who can fсuк in this weather?!”
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