Money jokes

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Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a coin?

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Money jokes

Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes

How do you know you’re flying over the poorer part of town?
You see toilet paper hanging on the clothes lines.

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Money jokes

Being poor has its advantages.
For example your keys are never in your other trousers.

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Money jokes

An Iraqi goes to the bank to get his salary from a French Company.
The Saudi manager of the bank asks him to sign on the back of the check.
"That's humiliation," shouts the Iraqi, "why should the French sign on the front and I sign on the back.
I want my money NOW!"
The Saudi refuse to pay him and the Iraqi keeps shouting in the bank then the American high manager comes with a 5kg hammer and knocks the Iraqi on the head.
After 5 minutes the Iraqi wakes up, signs the back of the check and gets his money.
The Saudi clerk goes to the Iraqi and asks, "Tell me why you didn't sign the check the first time but signed it later on?"
The Iraqi said,
"You missed the point, you just told it to me, but the American explained it."

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Money jokes

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

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Money jokes

I am currently experiencing an out-of-money experience.

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Money jokes

A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.

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Money jokes

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

I’ve just come into some money.
I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?

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Money jokes

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

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Money jokes Lawyer Jokes

Chuck Norris can pick "side" when flipping a coin.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.
'You should be on the radio,' said his brother.
'You think I'm that good?'
'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !

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Money jokes Music and Musician Jokes

A guy walked into a bar and said
"Beers for everyone, even you, Bartender."
But when it was time to pay, the guy didn't have the money, so the bartender beat him up.
The next day the guy did the same thing, ordered a вееr for everyone, even the bartender, and the bartender beat him up since the guy couldn't pay.
Then the next day, the guy said "Beers for everyone! But not you, bartender!"
The bartender said "Why?"
The guy replyed "You're violent when you're drunк!"

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Money jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.

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Money jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones.
Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat.
So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some.
On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest.
In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion.
He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.
"Officer," he said,
"What's going on?"
"You're under arrest," said the policeman.
"But why?" he asked.
The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

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Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Police Officer Jokes

OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?

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Money jokes

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised тhug said "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

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Money jokes Men jokes

Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.

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