Money jokes

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He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.

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Money jokes

Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.

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Money jokes

The best things in life are free, plus tax.

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Money jokes

‘I used to live in a sub-basement.
The janitor that had the apartment during the Depression had some stocks.
When the market crashed, he was wiped out.
He tried to кill himself by jumping out of the window and up on to street level.’ Wооdy Allen

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Money jokes

Born free.
Taxed to death.
A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present.
He points out a bottle of perfume and asks

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Money jokes Men jokes

Did you hear about the Wall Street investment banker who won $10 million in the lottery?
He's so happy that he's giving some serious thought to paying back his student loan.

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Money jokes

I hate paying my income tax.
You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
I'd like to but they insist on money!

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Money jokes Tax jokes

Smile and the world audits your taxes.

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Money jokes

One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car.
The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents.
He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out.
The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway.
She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing.
After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”

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Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Money jokes Blonde Jokes

The wages of sin are death – but after taxes and NI contributions you’ll just end up feeling a bit tired.

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Money jokes

If a fifty cent piece and a quarter were on the Empire State Building, which would jump off first?
The quarter, because it has less sense (cents).

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Money jokes

He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs.
The real shame was that he had five older sisters.

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Money jokes

Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy?
If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.

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Money jokes

Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are.
Thanks - but half the pages are missing.
What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?

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Money jokes

What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over?
Looking for low prices!

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Money jokes Blonde Jokes

Uncle Harry is very rich.
His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with.
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’
Douglas Adams

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Money jokes

Harry’s so cheap, he didn’t buy his wife a pearl necklace, he got her a length of string and told her to start a collection.

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Money jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who sold her car to get some money for petrol?

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Money jokes Blonde Jokes

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they take away your credit card.

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Money jokes

If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?
Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Money jokes