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Sailor Jokes

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How do you greet a Spanish pirate guy with a rubber toe?
Hola Ruberto!
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Sailor Jokes
What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?
The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.
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Sailor Jokes
Steve: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.
Pete: Really? I wonder what he called his hook.
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Sailor Jokes
Who was the first pirate?
Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.
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Sailor Jokes
In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times.
You know, to wash him ashore.
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Sailor Jokes
How did Captain Hook died?
Multiple stabbings. He got a bad case of an itchy rash.
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Sailor Jokes
Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?
Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.
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Sailor Jokes
What is a pirate’s favorite movie?
Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)
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Sailor Jokes
How do pirates know that they are pirates?
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They think so, therefore they arrr.
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Sailor Jokes
What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?
The captain’s log.
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Sailor Jokes
What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?
Answer: Aye matey!
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Sailor Jokes
Oh no, sir, I said pirate ship. What on Earth would possess me to call you a pile of shiт?!
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Sailor Jokes
Why are pirates such eager readers of the Рlаyвоy?
Because of the arrrticles.
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Sailor Jokes
To err is human.
To arr is seriously pirate.
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Sailor Jokes
It always struck me as odd that the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD had a piracy warning…
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Sailor Jokes
What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs?
A beginner.
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Sailor Jokes
Little Johnny meets a pirate with a wooden leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The boy asks, “Wow Mr. Pirate, what’s the story with your leg, sir?”
The pirate answers:
“A shark bit it off.”
Johnny replies, “Cool… and what happened with your hand?” The pirate answers, “Another pirate chopped it off in a sword fight.”
The boys is overawed and keeps on, “And what happened to your eye?!” The pirate replies, “Um, a seagull pooped on it.”
The boy is astonished, “Oh boy, you can lose an eye from that?!” The pirate shrugs, “Not normally, but I’ve only had the hook for about a day when that happened.”
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Sailor Jokes
What subject are pirates best at at school?
Arrrrt.
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Sailor Jokes
What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?
He got burnt to the ground.
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Sailor Jokes
This guy decides to join the Navy. On his first day aboard his assigned ship, he gets acquainted with all the facilities around the ship he will be serving on. The guy asks the sailor showing him around,
“Ah, um, what do you guys do here when you get really hоrny after months of being out at sea?”, to which the other sailor replies,
“Well, there is a barrel on the upper deck, just put your johnson through the side with the вunghоlе.”
Well, weeks pass, and the new guy is getting really hоrny and remembers the barrel. He climbs to upper deck and sees the barrel. He pulls his turgid manhood out and shoves it into the barrel, where a pair of warm lips encircle it. It is simply the best feeling he had ever experienced, truly a success!
After he was done, he zipped up and merrily walked away. Day after day, he takes advantage of the delights of the barrel.
One morning, he places Mister Happy in the barrel and nothing happens. He tries a few minutes later … nothing. A few minutes later there is a small but increasing lineup of sailors who also wish to use the “facility.”
Then, along comes the guy who originally told him about the barrel.
“That barrel really is great! But today, nothing is happening!”
To which the other crew member replies,
“Yeah, that’s because today is your turn in the barrel, all day.”
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