Sailor Jokes

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I convinced my fellow pirate to try hеrоin.
Now he's hooked.

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Sailor Jokes

What do you call a kid with one eye and a pirate's leg?
Names

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Sailor Jokes What do you call jokes

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
Aye Matey.
(Saying it out loud might help)

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Sailor Jokes

A pirate's wife asks him what body part he'd be most okay with losing
The pirate thinks and replies,
"My spine!"
"Why?" says his wife, a little surprised
"Because it's holding me back!"

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Sailor Jokes

A pirate goes to the doctor
A pirate goes to a doctor, worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them.
"It's ok," he says. "They're benign."
The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

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Sailor Jokes

What's a pirate's favorite explosive?
M80

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Sailor Jokes

What do you call a communist pirate ship?
The USS-ARRR

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Sailor Jokes

Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?
Because they spend months and months at C.

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Sailor Jokes

Why do pirates make great lawyers?
Because they have very good arrrrguments.

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Sailor Jokes

How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology?
It’s the iPatch that gives it away.
Bonus Pirate Jokes

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Sailor Jokes

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?
P. because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.

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Sailor Jokes

Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days.
They cost an arm and a leg.

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Sailor Jokes

Why don’t pirate marriages last much?
Because of all the arrrrguments.

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Sailor Jokes

A pirate has stopped his pirating and mended his ways, but his parrot was just too bad, constantly swearing and refusing to behave.
Finally the ex-pirate had enough of it.
When the parrot started swearing again, he stuck it in the freezer for five minutes.
When he fished it out again, the bird was very humble and said:
“I promise I’ll be good now, John, no swearing! Just a question – what on Earth did the turkey do?”

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Sailor Jokes

Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?
Because they use the patch.

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Sailor Jokes

How does a pirate declutter his ship?
By having a yarrrrd sale.

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Sailor Jokes

What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?
The Steady Relationship.

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Sailor Jokes

Pirate pick up lines:
- Is that a wooden leg or are you that happy to see me?
- Do you mind if I drop anchor in your lagoon?
- Care to do some воотy plundering with me?
- Surrender your воотy!

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Sailor Jokes

How does a pirate get to the top of the building?
By elevataaaaarrrrrr!!!!!

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Sailor Jokes

Why are pirates bad at cards?
It’s kind of hard to play when you’re sitting on the deck.

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Sailor Jokes