; ; ; Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?” ; ;

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School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Teacher: “If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?”
Boy: “Somebody else’s pants.”

In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.

Why did the teacher jump into the lake?
Because she wanted to test the waters!

Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Chad: They’re good at trick questions.

When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.

Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!

Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public?
Because they’re private tooters.

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
The Food!

An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner.
“I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor.
“But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”

Father:
"You've got 4 D's and a C on your report."
Son:
"Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject..."

1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.
2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.
3. You have the right to have your lawyer run with you.
Should he refuse, a recent Law School graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.
4. If while running, you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his persuit of you in full stride.
5. You may stop running at any time, at your own risk.
6. Good luck. On your mark, get set.... GO!!!!!

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