The cuckoo clock
It was about 3AM, I was absolutely wasted.. W-a-s-t-e-d. I slipped through the door just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, “Midnight, just like I said.”
She said that was good, and for some reason she said, “we needed a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked why, she answered, “Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said ‘Shiт!,’ cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.”