The Five Stages of Sеx … …

The first stage is Smurf sеx. This is where you do it until you’re both blue in the face. …

The second is Kitchen sеx. This is the honeymoon phase where you do it in every room of the house, including the kitchen. …

Third is Bedroom sеx. This is after you’ve been married for a while, maybe have a couple of kids, so you do it in the bedroom. …

Fourth is Hallway sеx. The marriage is going downhill and when you pass one another in the hallway you yell, “Fuск you!” …

The final stage is Courtroom sеx. This is where you go to court and your ex- wife and the lawyers sсrеw you in front of everyone in the courtroom.