We were flying into San Francisco. There was a lot of turbulence; everybody started freaking out. The pilot was cool. He handled it beautifully:
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It appears we're going to be about, oh, four or five miles short on our approach into San Francisco this morning. We've asked the stewardesses to go ahead and cancel some of those car reservations for you. Please feel free to get up and move around the cabin, or smoke. I don't think it makes much difference at this point. You people on the right are going to get a real nice view of the bay coming up there pretty quick. People on the left are going to get a pretty good view of the people on the right. By the way, for you swimmers on board, the water temperature is a brisk 63 degrees. Those of you who don't swim, thanks for flying the United way.'
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