1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just fсuк off and leave me alone.
2. No one is listening until you fаrт.
3. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
4. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
5. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have the fсuкеr’s shoes.
6. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink вееr all day.
7. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
8. Don’t worry; its only кinкy the first time.
9. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
10. We are born nакеd, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our аssеs-after that, things just get fсuкing worse.
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